Living in the Moment

Being too busy is not a good thing. It’s something I struggle with all the time. I currently have about four different jobs and everything is a juggle. I’m working a 20 hour a week ED position, have two small contract with agencies in different capacities while running my downsizing business. Oh and my hobbies are time consuming, being making films and acting on stage and screen. Phew!

I know though that many people aren’t busy, and in fact struggle to fill their day. Maybe they are recently retired, or their children and grandchildren have moved away and visit less often. People over 75 are known to suffer from loneliness and depression which contributes to poor health outcomes and more dependence on the system.

So today I want to talk about those people, and what we do to fill time as we get older in a way that contributes to quality of life, rather than detract from it. It seems to be universally acknowledged that spending hours watching television is a Waste of Time. But many people, especially as we age and have less urgent commitments, spend more and more time on front of the TV. It isn’t a problem necessarily, but television watching is a solitary activity.  It doesn’t contribute to quality of life indicators such as physical activity, social or familial relationships, good health. 

Here is an example. There is currently a story circulating online of a 75 year old Australian man called Ray Johnstone who posted on line looking for a fishing partner.  He was a widower  and his fishing  partner had just passed away. He wanted to find someone to fish with, and offered to share expenses with someone if they replied to his ad. The story became a bit of an internet sensation.  He got 60 thousand views and  If he hadn’t done that, he would have lost this hobby that provided him with enjoyment and activity.  TV would perhaps have replaced that time. 

So how can seniors ensure they fill time productively? Certainly the thing to do id review your hobbies, and see if there are ways to expand them by the old tried and true “sign up for a class”.  But as a first step perhaps, one could look into their values and where they value spending time. I am developing a values inventory as part of a course I am creating on downsizing. This tool is important because it focuses our attention on our unique needs and desires.  Some people value nature. For them, hiking groups, volunteer gardening, plant restoration, kayaking or sailing courses are things that for them would increase quality of life and fill time. Others may value knowledge and history. For them, online genealogy programs, auditing university courses or period transcriber groups might bring joy to them. The point is everyone is different, so “you should take a class” is too vague and doesn’t hit the buzz of interest that comes with what you value. 

Other ways to increase activities is to rent out a room in your home. There are many agencies looking for bedrooms for ESL students, or even just to rent out space in your home at a reduced rate in return for some chores around the house. Having someone coming and going in your home can be a bother, but it also provides social interaction, and safety.

Of course many people at this time of life consider moving to a retirement situation. From a trailer park in Florida to a independent living seniors community, there are many different options. Some seniors have even sold everything and live aboard a cruise ship, stopping only to visit family in certain ports (this option appeals to me). Depending on your budget and values, you could chose a living situation that dovetails with your values, but provides more stability, less work that running a single family home, and more connection to other people in a similar place in life.

If you know someone exploring these options, or who needs some help expanding their quality of life, give me a call, and we can talk. I am happy to help individuals or their families talk about options, and work towards a change that works for them.