5 things at Christmas
5 Things to Help the Bereaved at Christmas
Perhaps you work with the elderly; widows and widowers, and as the holidays approach you are aware that sensitivity is necessary. Here are some quick tips to keep in mind:
For those who are experiencing a first Christmas without a loved one this is clearly a sensitive time. Acknowledging it straight is often a relief to the recently bereaved. Feel free to say something, talk about how difficult it might be. So often we say nothing because we don't want to offend.
When my father died, it was time for new traditions. Suggesting it's OK to change things up can give peace of mind. Maybe this year is time to take that trip to Hawaii or Mexico for the holidays. Its might help to suggest a change, to let them know its all right to want get away.
It might be necessary to hear the same story over and over again, without saying we have heard it before. If someone is telling the same story it could be due to dementia, but sometime it's because that memory is so significant to us, we are hoping for a response we haven't had before. "That must have been so hard for you", sounds so textbook but it is so often what we want to hear.
My mother was an avid Christmas card writer. It was so important to her to get those cards out each year. There might be a tradition that the bereaved wants to continue on for their loved one. Helping them find a way to make it happen would be a gift to them.
Ensure that they have a plan for the big day. Staying at home alone until dinner time might not be enough. Can someone have them for breakfast, take them to church? Arranging a full day, or asking someone to arrange it might help them get through that hardest of days.
No matter what the situation, taking that extra moment or two to think about what it must be like for the bereaved will help them immeasurably. Christmas is the toughest of times for them, as sometimes for us all. Watching our own needs is just as important!